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Archive for the ‘Drinks’ Category

gantGin and tonic and I go back a long way. My first G and T, I’ll have you know, was taken on the balcony of the Serena Mountain Lodge in Kenya, at dusk, as a family of elephants took their evening libations. I was seventeen years old. Doesn’t that sound like a terribly sophisticated set-up? It really wasn’t. I’d just spent three days driving around Nairobi, all the while throwing up out of the car window or into my father’s terry towelling hat, from a combination of period pain and teenage angst, and was then offered an alcoholic beverage by my parents. My drinking experience at that point consisting of the occasional half-glass of wine at the family table or Brandy Alexanders at the bar of the Intercontinental Hotel (no one ever checked our IDs there), I ordered what everyone else was having. I drank my gin and tonic with the grownups and promptly fell asleep, thereby missing out on seeing all the baby rhinos and cavorting lions that visited the waterhole beside the hotel later that evening. But a love affair with a cocktail was nonetheless born that night.

As much as I love a gin and tonic I am surprisingly unfussy about how they are prepared. As long as it has gin and tonic water in it, I’ll drink it. (more…)

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So sweet, you’d never know they have tiny ear canals brimming with filth and germs. Nor that the one on the right is about to throw up in that car seat.

My big brother emailed me today with two queries. ‘When you gonna blog again?’ and ‘How’s your wedding Adirondacks?’ The second question is easier to answer. The Adirondacks to which he refers so grammatically incorrectly are two chairs that he gave H and me for our wedding present. We got married in April 2009. He dropped off the chairs yesterday. They are flat-packed and likely to remain so until we achieve a vomit-free week in this household.

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IMG_5268It’s Sunday evening, and I just discovered that according to Google, no-one else, ever, has had occasion to search for the phrase ‘Does gin sink?’ What a strange world this is.

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In the event of finding yourself over thirty-eight weeks pregnant and suffering from a virus that makes you burn with fever and shake with chills for twenty-four hours (so far…) this is all I can suggest:  (more…)

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Oh for the days when the in-seat phone was all the entertainment she needed.

In about four hours we are heading to the airport to fly for fourteen hours to LA. Then we will wait at LAX for another five hours, before flying for two more hours to Denver. I am more daunted by this trip than I have been by any other I’ve taken.

It’s not as if this is the first time we’ve flown with May Blossom. We’ve taken this trip twice before, and many other shorter domestic flights too. But this is the first time we’ve flown since she has been weaned, and talking a lot. Breastfeeding was so handy for travelling: it functioned as food, entertainment and a gag. I’m just not sure what to expect without it. I gather gags are frowned upon in some parenting circles, so that in-flight option is ruled out. (more…)

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It was my birthday yesterday and I behaved like a shit. It happens every year. I spend the lead-up acting all nonchalant about it and not giving a toss about what plans are made and what presents I get, and then I complain about it all after the fact. (more…)

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Booze Management is an ongoing situation in this apartment. Mostly it involves H ordering bottles of wine by the dozen and beer by the case and me shoehorning them into any space we can find. Then we invite my relatives over and pour it down their necks. And repeat.

This week I moved all our wine from the hall cupboard into wine racks on top of the spare room wardrobe, relocating the spirits to the cupboard above the fridge, and in doing so I realised that for a household of non vodka drinkers, we have rather a lot of vodka. Not good vodka, either. Cheap, nasty vodka. One bottle was only a quarter full, so I poured it down the sink. I did it dramatically, like an alcoholic in a telemovie. (more…)

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This evening H and I are supposed to go out. Out of the house, together, without May Blossom. Not to the compost bin, or the rubbish bin, or the recycling bin. Not even further afield to the video shop, the supermarket or the petrol station. Tonight we have tickets to see Bonnie Prince Billy at the Sydney Opera House.

I bought the tickets a few months ago on a whim, because H loves Bonnie Prince Billy, who is a grumpy-looking, balding, blond bearded alt-folk-country musician. I like him too, I think, but I can’t actually remember any of his songs. Whenever I try to summon one up in my head I get a Bon Iver song. Nevertheless, I am excited to be going out. Or I was until I looked at the tickets to see what time the show starts.

Nine o’clock. Nine pm. In the night. That means he won’t be finished until 11. We won’t be home until midnight. Let’s look at the stats for how much sleep I am likely to get: May Blossom has been alive for 498 days. She has slept through the night (7 or 8 pm to at least 5 am) three times. According to my maths, which is admittedly not my strong suit, that means she has a 0.6 per cent chance of sleeping until 5 tomorrow. Not great odds. Better, though, if we take into account the fact that all three of those times have been within the last seven days. That brings us up to a 42.8 per cent chance. (more…)

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May Blossom has recently stopped calling me Mummy and now refers to me as Money. Either she has developed a speech impediment or she is channelling Vince Vaughn in the 1996 indie hit film Swingers. I am leaning towards the latter option, because she also drew the picture above when we were out at dinner the other night. It’s not just me, that’s a martini glass, right? She is so money.

In other areas of my life in which I am clearly not money, I went back to the gym today for the first time since I was five months pregnant. It was not, as they say, a complete success. It turns out there is a difference between fat and fit. I thought that since I had lost all the weight I gained with the pregnancy, and since I spend all day every day running around after a toddler, that I would be fine with a proper workout. Not so much. (more…)

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This past week I have liked: (more…)

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