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Posts Tagged ‘Pregnancy’

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Garnet has one elf ear. The other is a human ear. We are unsure what, if anything, to make of this.

Garnet’s 24 days old. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster so far: lots of screaming and vomit. The screaming as been me, mostly, but the vomit’s all down to him.

He has, thus far, been a very easy baby, which is extremely fortunate because I haven’t been an easy mother. Yesterday the GP had me do a multiple choice misery quiz – like those old Cosmopolitan quizzes about what kind of a lover you are, except more about how much you hate everything — which I totally aced, so now I get to sport the label ‘postnatal depression’ and take some pills and have some counselling. (more…)

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May Blossom re-enacts what will happen if you don't shut about about your birth plan while having coffee with friends.

May Blossom re-enacts what will happen if you don’t shut about about your birth plan while having coffee with friends.

My friends Lou and Sophie visited me yesterday, with their delightful children. While the three bigger kids all rabbited about leaving dangerously small items where Lou’s baby could ingest them, we chatted about birth. Sophie and I are both nearly due for the second time and Lou has Been There And Done That and is now the proud and exceedingly competent mother of two small humans. As I launched into my usual diatribe about how I’d like to have a VBAC but who knows what will happen and I’ll probably end up with another caeasarean which will be fine but also not fine because I won’t be able to pick up May Blossom but at least I won’t end up with such bad tearing that I have a vaganus and so on and so forth, Lou made the polite suggestion that perhaps I might benefit from listening to the meditation tracks from a Calmbirth course. (more…)

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pineappleThat was quite a long day off I took, wasn’t it? Whoops. I spent three days ill and have been recovering since then. I’m feeling better. I’d still quite like to have this baby sooner rather than later, but I feel like I can stick it out a bit longer.

Whenever May Blossom wakes up these days, the first thing she says is, in a very irritated tone of voice: ‘I didn’t want to go to sleep.’ She regards us getting her to fall asleep as a cruel trick. It might be because when she is complaining in her cot about not wanting to  sleep we have started telling her that she doesn’t have to go to sleep, she just needs to lie quietly. I think she believes us and is then hugely pissed off to wake some hours later to discover she slept anyway. Yesterday she elaborated for me: ‘I don’t want to go to sleep. I just want to wake up.’ (more…)

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water

In the event of finding yourself over thirty-eight weeks pregnant and suffering from a virus that makes you burn with fever and shake with chills for twenty-four hours (so far…) this is all I can suggest:  (more…)

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More Cat, Less Complaining

Obie in repose

Obie in repose

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May Blossom is sick. After a week of a standard snotty, sneezy cold, she woke at 9.30 on Monday night with a fever and spent the rest of the night groping me like the love child of a slanket and a lava flow. When the drugs finally kicked in enough for her to get back to sleep around 11, my arm was trapped under her and so I lay until the nurofen wore off six hours later and her fever spiked again. By then I had been in one position for so long my hip had seized up and I was having a weird and excruciating pain that was almost certainly not my insides unzipping themselves along the line of my caesarean scar (not that I like to scare myself in the dark of the night or anything). (more…)

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Eagle-eyed readers of my previous post have politely pointed out that there are only five entries in my list of six excellent foreign ideas. There is no number four. I’m sorry. I don’t seem to be able to count any more. You wouldn’t know it to read my blog or talk to me that I actually have two brains in my body at the moment. I think I need a day off. So here’s tomorrow’s post for you a day early. (more…)

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