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Posts Tagged ‘Truth’

FullSizeRender 4I haven’t written a blog post for a while, because I’ve been trying to write my novel. When I say ‘write my novel’ I mean telling the (slowly developing) plot to anyone who will listen, and thereby reducing, slowly but surely, the number of people who might read it, should it ever be published.

It turns out this writing a book lark is harder than it looks and, like so many things in life, not made easier by having two small children about your person much of the time.

Neither is it made easier by going on a demented health kick, which is what I am doing at the moment. I am exercising to the point of great agony and simultaneously reducing my brain fuel. I am pretty sure I am losing brain weight, which is not where I have it to spare. (more…)

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IMG_4719The last two weeks have been so great and productive for me on a personal level. I’ve been exercising, writing, keeping on top of the laundry – all things that I don’t always find easy because of my clinical laziness.

My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still recovering from various ailments that started as a cold virus but then went to their ears, throats, chests and finally to their very souls. The soul antibiotics are not kicking in as quickly as I’d like.

The main symptoms of an upper soul infection are waging war on your sibling, and being unspeakably mean to your mother, because she is responsible for spawning your enemy.

Most of the time our kids get along pretty well, but the past few weeks have been another story entirely. A story more along the lines of Cain and Abel, or a biography of Noel and Liam Gallagher. (more…)

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Nine Lies

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It turns out my kids are lying liars who lie. On Saturday night, my brother, SuperChief, babysat Garnet and May Blossom. They totally saw him coming. Here are nine lies they told him. He wrote them down and presented them to H and me on our return and I have transcribed them here. Anything in quotation marks is a direct quote from the child in question. (more…)

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May Blossom searching for the truth.

Right now if you were to ask May Blossom to state, for the benefit of the tape, her full name, she would tell you my name. ‘Jessie Withgusto,’ she’d say (except she knows my real surname and you, Internetters, by and large do not). She said this for the first time a few days ago, and I laughed so hard that she has been doing it ever since. We had been working, for several days beforehand, on teaching her to say her full name. She had it down pat and then suddenly, out of nowhere, she changed her name to mine.

What is up with that? I suppose it’s more useful than knowing her own name if she gets lost. She can tell the cops who to call. She’ll be more use to them than Graham Greene was, when as a small child he was lost in Picadilly Circus. When the police found him and asked him to describe his mother, he told them ‘My mother is a proud woman.’ (more…)

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