In a marriage, it’s the little things that keep the romance alive. Tiny, thoughtful gestures that show your beloved that they matter. Things like taking pride in your appearance. Not letting yourself go. Because it really isn’t that hard, even with the busy lives we all lead, with toddlers and babies and businesses and buying houses and selling flats, to put a bit of effort into making yourself presentable for your spouse. While obviously you can’t and needn’t go to the same effort every day of the week that you went to for your wedding day, you do want him to remember you’re still that lovely girl he married.
That’s why this morning, when I finally disengaged my snuffly, miserable baby from my bosom, to which he had been attaching and reattaching every thirty seconds all night long, which was as long as he could suck before his blocked nose caused him to run out of air, I took some care to peel the dried smears of baby snot from my breast before I appeared at the breakfast table. (Eventually I remembered to tuck that breast back into my very sexy maternity bra too. I am nothing if not a fastidious dresser.)
It’s also important to try not to let your children overwhelm your conversation. It’s all too easy to find yourself sitting at dinner with your partner, filling awkward silences with vaguely amusing anecdotes of what your little cherub said or did that day. Cast your gaze further afield and talk about the wider world. That’s why last night my husband and I, after cheerfully and, let’s be honest, somewhat smugly realising that in two and a half years of parenting there has been no gastro in our house, enjoyed a rousing debate about whether it would be better for the stomach flu to hit our family in the next five weeks, before we leave the house with all moppable wooden floors but only one toilet, or after, when we will be living in a house with two toilets but wall-to-wall carpet in all rooms except the kitchen and bathrooms.
How to you keep that special spark in your relationship?
Bless you.
Firstly, there are some awesome maternity bras called hotmilk (I think) and I know that they aren’t meant to be sexy, just to keep the girls undercontrol, but they have really funky ones (and in all the sizes) and they’re really comfortable.
I once read a really good blog by someone, I was going to saw Mia Freedman, but now I’m not sure it was her… anyway, it was basically about having sex as regularly as you could with your partner, and when it comes down to it, I couldn’t agree more, it is, after all, one of the few things that only the two of you can provide for eachother – However in reality, who’s going to have sex when they’ve had a snotty (but terribly beautiful) baby strapped to their boob all night…
Sooooooo…..
To me, communication is the key. About everything and anything that is important or funny.
Or packing up your entire life and going around Australia for 12 months as a family… I hear that’s a goer
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Do it now. The toilet/floor thing is not an issue because this year’s bug is Just Nausea and Exhaustion. It lasts exactly seven days. You won’t be able to pack because you won’t be able to lift your arms. You MIGHT be able to sort of push things towards the front door with your feet. Like very slow soccer.
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Jess it’s my treat to read your blog when all are sleeping in our home.
You bring some normality to my sometimes crazy world.
Keep writing 🙂
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Life With Gastro…
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And now Life With Gutso, Old Cake Hand!
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